saturday

song.of.the.day
---)))epiphany (((---
cuz it's always rainin' in my head
forget all the things i should have said

quote.of.the.day
"when one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." ~alexander graham bell

gratitude X 3
***sterzing's potato chips, yes, another food item. what can i say, they're delicious :)
***sonny my beautiful lovely big orange kitty, and all other orange kitties of the world!!!
***orson welles, who i know close to nothing about except that his quotes suggest we were soul mates ;)

when you get what you want but not what you need

it's closing in on 5 am and i shouldn't even begin a blog, but i probably couldn't sleep right now if i tried so what the hell ;) here goes. i've found in my life that when i get my mind set on doing something, that i always make it happen. whether it's something small or big, i can achieve it- if i follow through on it without losing interest.

that might sound like a good thing, but there have been times when i've regretted it. like the line from the coldplay song "fix you" - 'when you get what you want, but not what you need.' that happens to me so often. it's not always a good thing to get what you want, and i've found that out time and time again. whether something didn't turn out to be as wonderful as i'd imagined it would be, or it was a complete disaster.

so i've managed for awhile to try not to want much. i don't really trust myself to want the right things, or to 'make things happen' that are necessarily good for me. i'm experiencing that struggle right now and it's really difficult for me. i know what i want, and i almost certainly know i will end up regretting it if i decide to try to get it. but yet, that's not stopping me from thinking of all the different ways i could figure it out.

i just don't know.

and, so, i will take some pills to help me sleep, and hope for some clarity tomorrow.